Walking in Nashville

Most of you who knew Wayman well, would remember that he was a keen exerciser.

As a young man sport was a big part of his life, and when he stopped playing football, he took up jogging to stay fit.

I was never a jogger.

I flirted with a gym membership when my children were young, and surprised myself with how much I enjoyed it. I felt huge delight when I perfected the "grape vine" in the aerobics class, and managed to not bump into everyone else!

As Wayman got older his exercise program changed, and he started to walk in the mornings.

He loved it when I would join him.

It never came naturally to me. He would be out of bed and ready to go while I was still trying to put my feet on the floor!

Whenever we visited Nashville the walking regime was continued. I look back now and realise what an unhappy partner I must have been for him!

He would encourage me with his enthusiasm, coaxing me on to do just 5 more minutes, or one more street. I was a most ungracious wife, never enjoying the time, always finding it difficult and demanding.

Now I am in Nashville in my own, and I am walking every morning.

Admittedly, I don't go as far, or as fast as Wayman did, but I am taking responsibility for myself, and pounding the pavement to Krogers and back.

The irony is not lost on me. How I wish that I had been a more willing participant when I had the opportunity to walk with Wayman.

But I am grateful for the way he influenced me and gave me the desire to keep myself at least a little bit in shape.

Just being here

I am finding that my role at the moment, is to just be here.

I can't walk the road that Cassie and Nathan have been given, I have my own.

But I can be here for them, sitting on the porch, and trusting that the opportunities of conversation that I have will be at least helpful, and in tune with where they are.

Can I encourage you to go to their blogs using my side bar, they have both shared their journey so eloquently.

It is their story to tell.

As for me, God has graciously given me time with women here who have loved me and allowed me to talk about my losses, and cared as only children of God can.

I am missing my family in Adelaide terribly, and am so sorry I missed Charlies flag waving expertise at the school concert!

I understand that he missed the instruction about when to start the all important flag waving, and while every other child held off until the climax of the song, Charlie, standing in the middle of the front row, waved his for the entire song!!!!

Grannie is with him in spirit, here in Nashville.

No limit

Years ago, [it seems like another life time ago] I was part of a womens' choir.

I have a strong musical heritage, but no training, and only the experience of singing in the pews on Sundays. But I joined with great enthusiasm, as did my friends and both my sisters.

To learn my part, our choir mistress would record my part on a tape, and I would learn it on my own so I would be able to hold my part when surrounded by others singing different notes than mine.

I would put that little tape in my cassette player in my car [remember them?] and play it over and over again as I drove to and from work. I was a working wife and mother then. I would learn the notes and words so well that I was confident to attend rehearsals, and hopefully not be a distraction for the other more proficient singers.

Yesterday a friend [from a different era of my life] sent me the words of a song we had learnt in that choir.

As I read those words, on the screen of a lap-top now, the melody began in my head.

I loved this song, and the truth of the words were always so comforting. The melody was very beautiful, and fitted so well with the sentiment of the song.

But as I found myself singing it to myself this morning, I realised that I now understood the words. They are mine to own now.

The truth of the lyrics hasn't changed, truth never does, but 20 or so years on I am having life experiences that put me right in the middle of these words.

It is written in rather old fashioned language, but I will leave it alone, because it flows better this way.

He giveth more grace when our burdens grow greater,

He sendth more strength when our labours increase!

To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,

To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men,

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,

Our Fathers' full giving is only begun

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power has no boundary known unto men.

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

Thank you dear friend for sending me this, and thank you Ano Klesis for the beautiful sound

you are making in my head this morning.

Two little souls in heaven

I didn't know it was possible to be this heart broken.

Cassie and Nathan have lost their two little babies.

It feels as if I have been given a new blanket of grief to add to the already heavy layer I am covered with.

I am watching these dear young people coping with a loss that only those who have lost children can understand.

I feel so helpless.

Please pray that Jesus will be all I need.

A tale of two tapestries

I have taken a bit of poetic licence with the title of this blog, but it was too good not to use!

Cassie is in hospital on complete bed rest, counting the days as she gives her babies every chance of life.

They both need 2 and 1/2 weeks before the doctors can help them. The little girl is short on fluid that is vital for her lungs to develop, so even if she makes the time line she has many huddles to overcome.

So we wait and lean on our Father again to provide all we need to be patient and trusting. Cassie is in a wonderful hospital with a team of people who are at the top of their field.

One of the last things I did before leaving Adelaide was to visit my local Spotlight store to pick up something to help pass the time. I chose two cross stitch kits for us to do.

Don't you agree with me that "a tale of two tapestries" is a much catchier title than "a tale of two cross-stitch kits" ????????????

Here they are!

Being in Tennessee is providing me with some challenges as I try to explain the birds we are working on.

They love the colourful Rosellas and think that the Kookaburras look cute and cuddly. I haven't corrected them at this stage. I have also managed to this point to refrain from giving them an example of the Kookaburras' laugh!

I think Cassie is living in fear of her Mum embarrassing her with a rendition of "Kooraburra sits in the old gum tree"!!!!

If you have been praying for us, thank you.

I know it is a powerful tool that it ours to use.

And I know

"that we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,

Jesus the Son of God.........

so let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

My home for now

I arrived in a hot and muggy Nashville surprisingly fresh on Thursday evening.

I had a rather tight changeover at LAX but with the help of a Qantas lady who ran with me between terminals, with my luggage, I managed to make my Nashville flight.

It is strange to be here in a place that Wayman loved to visit so much, without him. There are so many wonderful memories.

Nathan took me straight to the hospital to see Cassie. She is doing very well. The babies are still both doing OK, and the situation is stable.

The two main issues she faces are infection and going into premature labour.

So far both have been avoided.

Both Cassie and Nathan are blogging about their experience. You can access their stories on my side bar. Please pray has they are requesting.

I am so pleased that I can be here to play my part as Cassies Mum, helping her to feel a little more in control of the situation. I have done the washing, and Nathan took me shopping to buy her extra clothing suitable for her in hospital.

As you can appreciate she went into hospital with just the clothes she was wearing, leaving the house expecting to be back. It was a shock to realise that she will be there for as long as it takes to mature these little ones ready to be born.

I am so glad I can put her mind at ease about little things here.

This is my home for the next little while.

They have a wonderful church family who are all helping to care for them, and I am deeply appreciative of Gods family around the world who are praying for them.

If you choose to pray for me specifically here are some points:

• Praise God for smooth travel, and the help I received at LAX.
• Please ask that I will feel confident to drive here as this will be a big help.
• Pray that I look after Cassie while Nathan is away [he is travelling to Texas this weekend] appropriately, and that he will be able work without anxiety for Cassie.
• Pray that I will continue to trust God to care for us all including these two little babies.

Thank you so much for partnering with me in this new journey

A trip to Nashville

Again Cassie and Nathan have allowed me to share their news with you.

Cassie has been hospitalised as one of their little babies has a ruptured sac.

While the situation is stable at the moment and the second baby is unaffected for now, they face the very real possibility of loosing one or both of them.

I am flying to Nashville to be with them. Please pray that I will handle the travel well, and arrive capable of supporting them. I have not slept much over the past few nights so I am in danger of being a liability to them rather than a help!

Pray also that God will be merciful and grant these little ones life.

Pray that Cassie and Nathan will trust their heavenly Father to care for them and their children.

I will keep you posted.