one year on

Today is the anniversary of Waymans death.

Time is a funny thing.

Some days it seems as if it was just yesterday, and others I feel as if he has been gone for half a life time.

I miss him dreadfully.

Yet God has chosen this path for me and I trust Him with the future. 

Some days I am better at that than others.

I am privileged that Wayman provided for me in such a way that I am materially comfortable, and my girls are wonderfully caring.

My sons-in-law are good men who love the Lord and lead their families well.

My grandchildren are a constant delight to me. 

I now have four on earth with me, Charlie, Penny, Jonty and Oscar, who was born to Stephanie and Shane in March.

It is still strange to attend church on my own some weeks. 

I think this is exacerbated by the fact that many people did not know Wayman. 

The numbers have grown so much that the majority of people have joined us since Wayman became ill.
So I am learning to introduce myself to them as a widow.

How strange that still sounds.

I love my garden, and feel a responsibility to maintain it well. 

I am not good at looking after the lawns........Wayman would be disappointed in that.
But I had a great display of annuals this year, and the war with the birds has abated!
The veggie patch is planted with winter things, brussel sprouts, broccoli, winter greens, beetroot, carrots, garlic and herbs.
And pumpkins, I only put in two this year, and they haven't taken over the patch.
I am learning to make compost, and how to safely burn rubbish, I mow the lawns and try to keep the autumn leaves under control.
I have put fish in the dam, silver perch, and I am hoping that my grandsons will learn to fish there.

The house is my refuge. I love it.
It is very big, but I don't feel uncomfortable in it.
Each room has a purpose and I seem to use them all.
The families love visiting to watch Collingwood play on my oversized TV in winter and the tennis court is a wonderful play ground for us all in the warmer months.
So I will stay here for a while longer.

With the anniversary of Waymans death comes the end of all the "firsts"
The first Christmas without him, the birthdays, anniversaries, football grandfinals, each one evoking memories with emotions just below the surface.

Twelve months ago, the last things Wayman said to me in this life were

"You are a strong woman Ruth, and I love you"

I am so very glad that he did, and I will try to be strong going forward.

With God as my strength and with His love to envelope me I am complete.

40 years ago

Today is my 40th wedding anniversary.

Of course it seems like a life time ago that Wayman and I were married on a Friday night in a Uniting church in Broadview, Adelaide.

I was one month past my 20th birthday, and he had turned 21 the week before our wedding.

We were so young, and deliriously happy!

Our relatives and friends were pleased we chose a Friday night, as they could play their sport the next day, and not miss tennis or cricket to attend a wedding. Back then many people still played organised sport on a Saturday afternoon.

Actually we were forced to have a Friday night wedding as I had been accepted into a post graduate course in theatre nursing and we left it too late in changing the church booking to have a Saturday, so we changed to Friday night. Daylight saving was quite new and being married at 6pm meant we still had some daylight for photos.

My older sister was maid of honour [she had a 6 week old baby, not bad don't you think?] and the other bridesmaid was a nursing friend. The flower girl was a cousin of Waymans.

Waymans attendants were both work colleagues.

I spent months planning my wedding, [apart from the last minute change in day!] and I thought we were adding touches that were so different in many small ways. When I look back, it was a wedding of its time.

Mum made the dresses except for the flower girls, which was made by her mother

We invited ALL our extended families

The reception was in a community hall

I made the paper flowers that decorated the tables

My Mum wore a hat

Mum and Kate [Waymans Mum] worried about the fact that their outfits were both blue, but in the end they liked their dresses and went with it!

I had a "going away outfit"

The photographers camera malfunctioned, he didn't have a spare, so there are no photos of me arriving at the church. He had to drive across town to get another camera!

We were given a reel to reel audio copy of the service.

We had a little family drama.

My little sister was overseas and not due home until later. I refused to wait for her to arrive back.....I really wanted to be a scrub nurse in an operating theatre!

Waymans Father had died of a heart attack just 10 months before we were married.

Kate was brave and gracious, allowing us to enjoy our day without any thought of the heartache she must have felt at loosing her only child so soon after Dougs' death.

She was one classy lady.

We had speeches, an old farmer, a neighbour, who I had called Uncle Max all my life gave the toast to the bride and groom, and the best man stole the night with a very witty speech that he delivered in grand style.

I loved my day, not because it was perfect and flawless, in fact it was a bit of an amateur production.

I loved it because I was marrying Wayman. And I think he felt the same about marrying me.

Isn't that the way it is supposed to be?

It began a wonderful marriage of thirty nine and a quarter years.

Not bad for a couple of kids.

High tea for my 60th

I turned 60 last week.

It is easy to type that in, but I have felt the weight of that number as I consider my life choices.

I decided to celebrate with a few women at home, inviting them to join me for high tea.

The girls and I had great fun finding Waymans Mothers fine china that has been stored in boxes and cupboards in our homes.

We pulled out her silver teaspoons and cake forks, found jam and sugar spoons and started to polish them all.

Kate had some beautiful things, most of them rarely used, stored for special occasions.

We decided she would agree that my 60th birthday was special.

The day started with champagne under the Elm trees.

Jill, Jacquie and Alison came from Sydney to join me and meet my Adelaide friends and family.

The lounge room was converted into a tea room, and we were seated comfortably at little tables, all very British!

What on earth am I doing with the cake fork?

The ladies at my table seem to be ignoring me, a senior moment perhaps?

The food was beautiful and delicious, provided by the wonderful Nicole from the Olive Branch in Balhannah..........

and the tea selections were perfect, with everyone agreeing that there was something for everyone.

My Mother came for the celebration. If I live as long as her, there will be plenty of time for senior moments!

note to self: try not to poke out friends eye with cake fork next time you have one in your hand!

My deeper thoughts on turning 60 are wrapped up in the Bible verse I have posted in the side bar.

A festive street

Steph and Shane live in a pretty street. Steph is very community conscious and three years ago she decided to decorate her block of their street with red ribbons on the street trees at Christmas. She door knocked as many neighbours as possible and then proceeded to put the ribbons up at night, with Shanes help. It took her a few evenings to complete the task.

Apparently one lady who she hadn't spoken to, rang the council during the process complaining that she didn't have a ribbon, and demanding to know when were they coming to do her tree!

Last year Steph left the ribbon in peoples letter boxes with a request for them to put them up, but I think they didn't all meet her high standards in ribbon artistry so she abandoned that idea.

.

She buys red plastic tablecloths by the roll and cuts it into strips, so each year they start with fresh ribbon.

This year a neighbour helped her, and the street is beautifully adorned again.

Most of the houses have Agapanthus and lawn on the verge, so the red ribbons look very festive........but some don't take as much interest in the streetscape

but they still have a ribbon to brighten their footpath.

Even the vacant block has two!

everyone is treated the same

They have found it a wonderful way to get to know their neighbours, and now Jont rides his bike along the footpath, and talks to Ben and Gerry, and Dot, and Di, he thinks it is quite normal to know many of the people on his block.

And in a small way one family is helping their community to celebrate Christmas.

.....and my real BFF

What a friend we have in Jesus,

all our sins and griefs to bear!

what a privilege to carry

everything to God in prayer!

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

all because we do not carry,

everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?

Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged:

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,

who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness:

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Saviour, still our refuge:

take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do your friends despise, forsake you?

Take it to the Lord in prayer:

in his arms he'll take and shield you,

you will find a solace there.

My new BFF

My love/hate relationship with the birds on my property is continuing.

I really love the diversity of bird life, from the magpies and willy wagtails to the ducks that make my dam home while they raise their chicks.

But the destructive habits of some of them really makes it hard to appreciate them.

The roses continue to be a target for the lorikeets, and I am continuing to battle for supremacy in that theatre of warfare.

But a new enemy has arisen.

The sulphur crested cockatoos are trying to destroy my lawn, and just for fun they poop all over my outdoor furniture!

So I have a new best friend......

I am hopeful that this fearsome looking owl will discourage any toilet action by these birds on my table. He is perched on the front patio to help them to find another place to empty their bowels.

I have another one on the coffee table, and one sitting in the middle of the lawn to stop the destruction of the lawn. I always go over board with a new idea! I bought the updated model, that has a solar panel on its head so that the eyes glow at night to stop any nocturnal activity.

Pretty good don't you think?

And very classy sitting on my front patio.

I wonder what my daughters will think of my taste in outdoor art?

Well, when you consider that they are replacing Bob the gnome I think it is an improvement.

Bob wasn't originally meant to be on guard against these predators and really he isn't very scary with his cute little ukelele and red mushroom.

Even the scar on his forehead from a mishap in the rockery hasn't made the birds respect him.

So I think I will retire Bob back to the anonymity of the garden where the little boys can play hide and seek with him and he doesn't have to worry about pesky birds pooping on his little red cap.

I'll leave the work of guarding my property to the plastic owls, with googly eyes, and a fearsome scowl.........and a solar panel on their head.

Cool, sophisticated, noice!

Suits in the city

I have just returned from a visit to Sydney.

It was my first on my own.

I chose this time as it coincided with the AGM of "Waymans" company, and I decided that I was brave enough to attend. I stayed with wonderful friends who allowed me room to remember with delight the 9 years I had lived there. I have many memories of Sydney that are specific to my own life, but I wanted on this visit, to remember Wayman. As I visited people and places I made a list that particularly related to him.

It isn't profound, but I thought I would share it with you. I didn't take any photos, it wasn't that sort of trip. There is no order, and I apologise if it is bit boring, as most of the list relates to things that we did, just the two of us. But they helped me to remember us, living ordinary lives in a truly beautiful city.

Men in suits in the city

Pages and Pages book shop

Hayden Orpheum picture theatre

Indian myna birds scavenging on the streets

McIntosh of Mosman

Illawarra Street

The ferry ride from Mosman Bay to Circular Quay

Fanuli furniture

Allan Border oval

Queen Victoria building

Crystal carwash cafe

the walk from the piazza to the church at St Thomas'

Rihani menswear in Mosman

Little Sirius cove

Rubicor

Jane, Kevin and Sharad

Coffee group at St Ives

Qantas club

the cross word in the inflight magazine

having to "lean in" to hear Gwens' lilting Irish accent

Balmoral Beach

the drive on Archibald road to St Ives

the men who were Waymans friends

Lastly, the ferry terminal at Mosman bay. I managed to be brave most of the time, but here I admit I had a good cry.

Wayman would drive to work most days toward the end of our stay, but occasionally he would catch the ferry. He would ring me as the ferry was coming around Cremorne Point and I would drive down to Mosman Bay to pick him up. There is short term parking where you can watch the passengers as they alight from the ferry, and I would sit in the car and watch the suits as they filed off the green and gold ferry waiting to catch the first glimpse of him. Wayman always looked the same at the end of the day as he did at the beginning, his tie still tied, his coat on even on the warmest day. At the end of the day he still looked immaculate. He would stride toward the car, with his satchel under his arm and always, always, he was pleased to see me.

This time my heart ached as I watched the people coming off the ferry, knowing that my man wasn't among them.